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AXP

March 18, 2016

 I've had my fair share of dumb boys fall into my path while at parties, walking around downtown, and scrolling through Tinder. Yes, I occasionally hop on Tinder to see if anyone catches my eye but so far, no luck. But this isn't a story about Tinder, this is a story all about how a guy who just blows my mind at how utterly stupid he must be.
 About a month or so ago, I shared to you guys about a party I went to downtown by UC's campus, and at this party I met a very handsome guy who I took to Waffle House. Still haven't seen him since nor do I remember his name... But I also met another guy who I gave my number to.
 Now this guy seemed totally cool, the way he talked seemed proper and mature. He seemed intellectual and collected, not saying that he isn't now but the way he talks, texts, and acts show a completely different side. I'll refer to this guy as AXP because that's his fraternity he belongs to, and I honestly don't care if he reads this at this point. He already googled my name and told all his fraternity brothers about what popped up. I talked about AXP in my That One Party post, in the last two sentences of the second paragraph. I take those last two words of that last sentence back...
I'll honestly wear this again
 So AXP and I talk for a bit, days pass along, time goes on as we chat here and there. Fast forward to a weekend where he invited me to a Macklemore like party where you dress up like you belong in the Thrift Shop music video. I'm decked out in a cute but throwback-ish outfit that would make Rachel Green proud.
 I arrived to the party a little late, my bad, and instantly AXP starts introducing me to his friends. Almost immediately afterwards, the typical shameless Instagram promos start pouring out. All his frat buddies start telling me that I should follow them, that I should check them out, etc. etc. (I did follow this one guy though because he's not only cute but was super nice). Almost immediately afterwards he keeps trying to grab my butt, but really half heartedly grab it. Like when you want to touch a cactus to see if it's prickly but you really don't want to grab that cactus, just kind of run your fingers over it...
 Turns out AXP had been bragging to his buddies about how I was showing up for him. I don't mind this at all, to be honest I kind of like it because it makes me feel proud of what I've accomplished (though that lasts 2 seconds before I realize, oh shit I sound so conceded). After that, the night goes on.
 I don't remember if I talked about Drunk Ian in my other blog post (I did) but it turns out he belongs to the same frat. He stopped me in the dining room with a long conversation, though it consisted mainly of him trying to remember my name yet again. As I turn to the left just to look at the people dancing, low and behold AXP is staring down two girls who are making out in the middle of the 'dance floor'. I laugh it off and continue this name game with Drunk Ian, until my friend starts laughing uncontrollably. As I spot what she's laughing at, I notice that it's AXP she's laughing at. AXP is aggressively making out with the gorgeous girl who was seconds ago making out with another girl. Drunk Ian is to drunk to realize what I was laughing at so he continues to talk as I compose myself. As Ian continues my friends still laugh here and there so eventually we all turn to look at the dance floor and there is AXP, with the girl, doing not so pretty things.
 I honestly couldn't even get mad because watching this sloppy fiasco was so entertaining. AXP ends up leaving with the group of totally rad lesbians to (as he says) "get Penn Station"... totally believable right? **Sarcasm intended**
 Night goes on, it gets late, Friday turns into Saturday and 10 minutes 3am AXP comes back and heads straight to the back of the frat. At this point I'm quoting Clueless and telling the people "I'm outtie" and that it was great to meet them. I leave with no goodbye to or from the boy who invited me to the party, who said he only ever wanted me there but the party got out of hand. Not that I really cared though because the 20 minutes my friends and I drove around Clifton afterwards was more fun than the party to be honest. Other great thing about those 20 minutes, we all saw AXP walking home with a completely different girl. My night was made at this point. I couldn't stop laughing as my friend rolls down the window to yell at him as we drive past though.
 I get that in college people throw their rules, morals, or whatever out their dorm windows (to each their own, you do you) but come on. You invite a girl to your party, introduce her to all your frat brothers and friends, but say like three words to the girl only to hook up with like four other ones?

 Anyways, moral of this story was; I think I'll have better luck with Drunk Ian remembering my name at the next party!

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