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The Girl With The Tattoo

June 29, 2016

 Sometimes something hurts you and you break, but you've been broke before so at first you think you'll be okay. But this time it broke you at your core, and you crumble inside. And this time it's worse because even though you're broken and grasping at thin air to hold yourself together, it hurt someone else too. You can tell yourself they're collateral damage to try and make everything better but inside you know they're probably hurting just as much, if not worse, than you. Their hurt then in turn hurts you more, especially when you see their face the second you break them too. Even though the man who hurt you is the only one truly hurting them, you have to see it. You have to tell them, you have to see their face, maybe even see their world crumble down too. And it just hurts, it sucks, it's disheartening and horrid. The whole situation is horrible, and then the girl with the little piece of childhood inked into her skin with a black tattoo runs out before you can tell her more and all you can think about is how now she's hurting too because she doesn't completely know. How your hurt isn't alone, and that's such a bad thing. What happened to you first hand is so much worse than her finding out but it doesn't matter because you hurt her too. You feel your heart hurt for her so much that your chest starts to ache and you can't breath. As she ran out with childhood inked on her skin you realise your innocence is gone. It hits you right then and there like a freaking tsunami, all at once, not just a little trickle of water anymore, but a god damn tsunami. No matter how long you sit in the scolding hot water and cry your skin won't be untouched again. No matter how many lines you drag across your skin you won't forget what happened. No matter how many times you go back to the place where it happened, hoping each time it'll be easier to sit there, it still happened right there and you can't forget that and it's not getting easier. Your innocence is gone, he said it himself with a laugh as bad as a fairytale villain, like Captain Hook's. You think maybe, if you dig in deep enough, it'll all end but you're to scared to do that. Just like you were to scared to scream out and stop it all from happening. You were to scared to do anything; so instead you sit in the back of the car on your way home and listen to Lost Boys thinking over and over again all that happened. You think about how everything is connected... From him, to her, to her tattoo, to you, to your childhood, to your innocence, to how you'll never get it back, how your skin is tarnished, how now this is a part of your story, how now the guy you wanted to kiss as soon as you saw him in Fall won't be your first, how everything that you were is now gone. You prided yourself on your innocence and how you were happy and content with waiting for that guy to come back and perhaps kiss you. How your first kiss would maybe be like the fairy tales you dreamed of because let's face it, you're a dreamer. But now this one person crushed it all in his hands and ruined who you are- who you were. And you're no longer dreaming and holding out hope for the boy who held your hand, but instead dreaming nightmares about the one who hurt you. Because now the girl with a symbol of childhood tattooed into her skin is hurt, you are hurt, and how every time she looks at you she'll think of what happened, and how she went from saying "you're perfect"  which made you ecstatic that someone actually thought that about imperfect you to saying you're a hoe and a bitch, which now that you're innocence was ripped from your hands, you're starting to think you are...

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