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I'm The One Before

November 23, 2016


 I'm the one before the one, I'm the girl you're with or date before you find the one. And honestly I'm okay with that, it's not my favorite thing ever because I want to find someone too but it doesn't hurt me. But I've been told by multiple guys that I'm the girl they meet before the one, or the one who teaches them how to treat the one when they do find her. I've been told "even though we've only gone on a couple dates over four months, and I know I won't find the one tomorrow, meeting you has taught me a lot. It's taught me how to treat a girl, a girl like you, and how to understand it." A direct text I've taken a screenshot of and saved to my laptop.
 I've also heard this spoken other ways when being, essentially, rejected. It stung at first, to be honest it always stings, but I'm okay with being the girl before. And even then I'm probably not always the girl before because many guys I date are in their 20's and no where near ready to get married in the years to follow, but who knows.
 I'm the girl that you learn to respect, which in turn teaches you how to respect women. I'm the girl that you look at and admire. The girl you go to for advice when you need some. I could even be the girl that you'd like to come home to and hear 'how was your day?' as you sit down on the couch. I'll be the girl who talks about politics, religion and other things with you at 2 am which forces you to question how you've been thinking for years. The girl who you look to for blindness support when you don't know where to turn. The girl who sees the world so differently than you and you start to see how big and amazing it is. The girl who changes your mind about what you like and want. The girl  who you realize is really a woman that takes you out of your high school phase of things and turns you into a man.
  Obviously the guys I'm dating leave, because I'm still single, but they leave because now they know. Now they know how to love a girl without even noticing it. So when they do finally say "I love you, I'm in love with you, I'm crazily in love with you." and whatever other way they can say I love you, it won't be three empty words. It'll mean something now because subconsciously that guy has learned all of the things he needs to learn by dating the girl before.
 I know I'm hard to love even though for me it's so easy to fall in love with people. I've never loved any of the guys I've dated, but for some of them I liked them strongly. No where near as strong as loving someone, but for me once I find that I like a guy, it's not hard to really start liking them. But in return, it's hard for guys to strongly like me because I'm simply not that girl for guys yet. When I spoke to a friend of mine she explained it as I'm the college type of girl. I was so confused by this statement because I wasn't sure if she meant I was the college girlfriend or what, and many people who I know that have dated in college have gotten married. So if that's what she meant then wouldn't I be the one? She didn't explain to me until I realized it for myself.
 I am the college type of girl. I'm not the real world girl or high school girl, I'm the college girl. In high school you think it's the real deal. You think 'this is it, I can handle this, this is so easy' but just like being in high school, once you graduate you realize how wrong you were. High school prepares you for college yes, but once you get to college it's so different. And that's where I come in, I show you that high school wasn't the real deal. I teach you what women are really like, I'm nothing like the girl you dated in high school. I challenge your thoughts, I change your mind, I show you new things, I open your mind, I teach you what you couldn't learn in high school. I prepare you for the real world girl, I show you that you are capable of loving the real world girl. I give you and teach you the things you need in order to love the one. So when you get into the real world, when you start dating women and find the girl who isn't like high school, who isn't like college, you'll know what to do.
 Eventually I'll be the real world girl for a guy, he just has to meet his college girl first. And of course, I still have some growing up and self loving to do before I become the real world girl. You may be the high school girl right now, but you'll grow into the college girl. And it'll hurt when you get a guy who picks someone else over you, but just remember you can't forever be the one before. You'll grow, you'll learn too, you'll realize things from him as well, and you'll become the real world girl. You'll be the real world girl for a guy who is the real world guy one day and it'll all be worth it to hear those three words and not have them be empty. Believe me, I don't know it myself, but it'll be worth it. Just like guys, we have our high school boys, college guys, and real world men.

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