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James

by - November 11, 2016



 One of my friends showed me a random snippet from some article they found online one day and sent it to me. They simple sent the screenshot with the words 'do you ever think like this?' After reading the excerpt from god knows where, I told her of course I do. But the way I read this little paragraph may have a totally different meaning than what the person who said it means.
 When this person, lets call him James, says that people know him but they have no idea, I totally understand that. Or at least I think I do. People know James, they know who he is but they don't understand him or all of who he is. That's how I see it. My friends know me, but they don't understand how anxiety effects me, or stress even. My friends know who I am but they don't personally have to deal with what I have to deal with and go through so they don't have any idea what it's like.
 The next part I feel like I'd have to know 'James' to really understand what he means by that. I don't know where my friend got this paragraph from so I don't know James. But I sorta understand what he means by this, or again, I think I do... He can't be there for everyone all the time. He can't be what everyone expects him to be because maybe it's impossible. Or maybe it's to hard on him? I don't know exactly but I've felt like that before. If my parents expect something of me, I feel bad if I don't fulfill their expectations. So maybe James has all these friends and family members and people expecting so much out of him but he's only one person who can't fulfill all of it. I feel bad for the kid, so much weight on his shoulders that people just don't understand. But we all have something like that in different ways...
 The being alone part, I understand. I really understand. I hate being alone too, it's saddening really, always being alone. I live alone though (technically I live with a cat but still...) so I'm used to it but I think he means it differently. I think 'James' means it by not having someone there for you the way you need them. Which goes with the next part of wanting someone there. So he can get out of his own head for a while. He needs someone to help him separate his high expectation lifestyle from his calm, chill, easy going lifestyle.
 I used to have someone like that and I really appreciated them for being there. It was a friend I had made that didn't even live in the US, they lived so far away. But talking to them helped me forget all of the anxiety and stress causing things going on in my life. Some of these things that made me anxious I loved doing, but I also needed to step away from it for a bit. And talking to this person, this outsider, helped me. This random outsider who I randomly met by accident that helped me clear my head.
 Everyone needs someone like that. Everyone needs that outsider to help them clear their head. So heck, if 'James' is reading this, I'll be your outsider if you need one. Feel free to anonymously leave a message in my mailbox. And even if you aren't James, you can leave me a message too and we can chat about whatever you need. Whether its about advice, your stressful day, your favorite color, or whatever. So James if you need someone to help you clear your mind you can message me anytime and just rant or vent or whatever. Put your worries on someone else for a moment and clear your mind. Everyone needs to clear their mind for a bit, it's only healthy. And don't let the weight of the world put you down, it's okay to not be everything for everybody all the time. You're only human. And this goes out to everybody, not just James... you guys are only human.

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