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Change of Heart

by - December 16, 2016


 Sometimes you meet someone and they seem so wonderful and intoxicating and intelligent. You want to spend every minute with them and wake up next to them and breath the air that they breath. They captivate you in every and any way. And you're completely okay with being involved, around, infatuated by that person.
 But then sometimes, suddenly, out of literally no where you get a change of heart. Maybe that person changed, maybe you did. You just can't place it, that feeling of... of well change. But you know it happened. Maybe it happened a while ago and you're just realizing it now. Or maybe it just happened, and you're waking up from your comatose state of being possessed by this persons existence.
 Something just changed...
 It's never easy to admit that maybe things are different now, and they need to end. Or that someone you were so willing to follow to the ends of the earth isn't good for you anymore. Or even just realizing that a change has occurred that you might not like. It's literally so freaking hard that it hurts sometimes and you just want to drive out of the city and scream. You want to drive far, drive fast, and have the city in your rearview window. You wanna leave the hurt, the lies, and the crying behind. You want to hit your fists against the steering wheel- or grip it so tight your knuckles turn white. You want to press down so hard on the gas pedal that it hits the floor. You want to race reality out of the city so you don't have to think about it.
 But, reality is reality. You have to think about it, you have to deal with it, it's not just going to go away. You can't just brush this amount of change under the rug and walk away.
 So then you realize what you have to do, what you have to do, the choices you'll make. All of this you will realize as you race out of town with a grip so tight your knuckles turn white. It's a part of growing up I think, noticing and having to do things like this. You meet people you think will be a part of your life forever but it turns out they're only there for a couple years. Or you make friends you think will last a lot longer than just a season. It's weird to think about, but once you look back at it all you'll realize they served their purpose. Whether that was to help you get through high school, or to realize girls can be horrid to each other for no reason, or just to help you through a week.
Either way, don't race out of the city to quickly and end up never coming back.

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