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Fall in Love with Me, and my Anxiety

by - March 17, 2017

I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me, so how do we win?

 When you fall for somebody who has anxiety, you should know a few things. When you fall in love with someone who has anxiety, you've fallen for someone who is totally in tuned with all of their emotions. They feel everything with all of their soul, all of their heart- their entire being. When you love that person, you will realize that they are empathetic and sensitive, sensitive for themselves and for you. When you've had a long day and are stressed, they will pick up on the stress you're carrying on your shoulders. Your body language, your change in words, your slight change in mood- they'll pick up on. Your anger could be sensed just by your footsteps walking into the room. Your nervousness and desperation picked up by the increase of affection. Your conflicting thoughts are lingering in the room just by your slight change in facial expression. We'll immediately know something is wrong.
 People with anxiety, like me, are sensitive with so much heart. We are old souls, be gentle with us. But also know, we are strong in our own way. We have a sensitive but strong heart and will pour every ounce of our heart and energy into this relationship you have with us. We know we can be a handful between anxious ticks we have and panic attacks you witness. We may shut down sometimes or a lot but we won't totally shut you out. We just need a moment to shut our overwhelming feelings down so we can handle them slowly and not anxiously.
 We know we have baggage, and maybe lots of it. We know we carry suitcases full of it and issues. I know that my anxiety and mental health can sometimes weigh on our relationship, but at the same time I have a full heart of trust put into you that you won't leave.
 That's why when we do fall in love with you, we want you to know that we aren't going to walk away from you. We want you to stay with us, to stick around and enjoy life with us. We want to give you our heart as long as you treat us nicely, as we want you to feel the same way.
 I want to be there for you when you are hurting, because believe me I understand what it feels like. I understand completely and don't want you to be alone. When you're stressed out or blue or have the mean reds, I can be there for you. I understand it, I understand all of that. I have spent all of my life, all of my twenty years, fighting off my own demons. I know how it feels to fight those demons alone, but now you don't have to. Nor do I want you too. I'll be here to fight your demons just like I fought my anxious ones. I have also lived my whole life with triggers, and I would never judge you for yours because again... I know what that feels like.
 I will love you just how I would want to be loved. I know how rare it is to find love... I've seen people have it, grasp it in their hands like they just caught a star, only to have it fade away. So I know, that when us anxious kids find someone who loves us, we won't let it go so easily.

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1 comments

  1. This made me cry but it's sweet.....

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