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Long Distance, Short Distance

April 07, 2017

I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
 I really can't tell you the difference of what it feels like to be in a long distance relationship and a short distance relationship. Why? Because the one relationship I had was considered long distance, and the fling I had (which you couldn't even call it a fling, let alone a relationship) was 6 months of long distance.
 I've never known what it's like to have your boyfriend live down the street from you and to see him every single day for a week or a month. I've never know what it's like to have classes with your boyfriend and then have lunch together. I've never known what it feels like to have a little PDA and know your boyfriend is proud of you enough to show you off to the group of friends you share, let alone PDA in general. I've never known what it's like to call your significant other and have them show up at your front door in less than 10 minutes. I've only ever had the long distance, 'see you this weekend' or 'Skype me later' relationship (and mutual 'we won't see anyone else but we aren't together' relationship).
 But I think long distance relationships make you appreciate the whole relationship better. Now I'm not saying you can't appreciate a short distance relationship but it's just not in the same way. You know, in a short distance relationship, that you will see your S/O tomorrow at class or in two days after work or walking through campus you two will meet up to get coffee somewhere. You get to see them everyday if you want and can spend hours upon hours of time with them. You don't think twice about when you'll see them because you know in like four hours you'll see them again. In a long distance one, you don't get that. You get three hour phone calls at night that make you never want to go to sleep. You get text messages all day with responses that come asap. You get Skype calls that you end up passing out in and waking up to see them asleep on the other side. You get brief catch ups of 'what happened today' or 'what happened this week'? You get the excited but annoying countdown of when you'll get to see them next. You get the days that take forever to go by and some that fly by in excitement as the days near closer. Then you get long weekends or weeks of just pure blissful togetherness. You get nights where you just utterly enjoy every second together and stay up later than usual to get more time together. You take advantage of every second you have together because you know that ticking time bomb of Monday or the end of holiday is right around the corner. You appreciate your time together a lot more. It's just this euphoric feeling of getting to see them again. Like you know all of that time apart was certainly and utterly worth it to get this time with them now.
 It's so hard to explain unless you experience it. Though Arden Rose described it well in her book Almost Adulting. Considering her long distance relationship is from Venice, California to London, England I think she knows what she's talking about in her chapter titled Someone Actually Advocating Long Distance.
 "Each person knows without a shadow of a doubt that their lives are going to get significantly better once they see the other person. It's hard to commit to that lonely ordeal without a damn good thing waiting for you on the other side, but when there is, it's worth it. You spend so much of your time together just appreciating the presence of the other person. You can touch and feel and be with them as much as you want for a short period of time before you have to take those same memories of closeness with you on a plane ride ten hours away. You learn to appreciate every moment with your significant other." Okay so maybe Dean (the nickname I and my family have given my ex since his name is still to hard to utter) didn't think the reward, being me, was enough of a 'damn good thing' to go through the ordeal of having to wait to see me until the next Friday rolled around. But Arden goes on to say some more that people in long distance relationships, or at least those who have had one or more, understand. "Ultimately, the irritating game of endurance required in the long-distance relationships is nearly always worth it. If it weren't, you wouldn't still be talking to that person you've chosen to invest so much time in. You know you truly care about them when you'll forgo the constant assurance of physical closeness. I'll gladly sacrifice a few weeks to impatience and loneliness to date my boyfriend. And that's how I know I love him. All the aches and pains of being apart from someone are a testament to how much you do want to be with them."
 Considering the long distance relationship and other thing didn't work out, I guess to them I wasn't worth the 'aches and pains' though I believed those people were certainly worth it. I figure if I enjoy talking to you, if I like you, if I see something between us, I figure you are worth it and so is the distance between us. I don't see why distance has to be the end of a relationship when that person makes you happy. I find them worth fighting for, fighting the boring lonely nights where you'd rather be watching a movie with your S/O rather than screen sharing through Skype. I'd rather stay up later and have to drink more coffee than my usually five cups the next day because I got to stay up late talking on the phone with the man who made me happy. With this in mind, maybe I should just date some young male musician touring all over the world. Perhaps I should become a groupie and just date some band member. I seem to prefer long distance over short so somebody point me in the direction of the single John Mayer-esque musician who needs a muse to write about. Though I would adore a relationship where I see the person everyday, I know even in a short distance relationship, that isn't always possible. I like long distance relationships because it teaches you to appreciate the other person in a new way. Plus, I do in fact need my alone time to recharge here and there. Though I have some control over my social anxiety, I still need my 'me time' to recharge and put on weird looking face masks while bingeing 90's romantic movies in my little apartment.
 And I know I am repeating myself but seriously, I'm totally down to have another long distance relationship. I know I can handle them, I know I'm happy in them, and I know the time apart makes the time together so much more worth it. So seriously, Charlie Puth, Shawn Mendes, Niall Horan, message me if you need a single, twenty year old, groupie that can double as your girlfriend. Plus, at least two of you, will give me a reason to finally get a freaking passport. Something I've been putting off for like two years for god knows what reason even though I literally almost just up and went to Paris, France once because 'why not?'...

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