by - April 28, 2017

 I adore poetry, I absolutely adore it. I swear in a past life I was some overly empathic poet living in Paris. I have books about poetry, I over think my Instagram captions to have some poetic feel, and I write poetry- a lot. I have poems upon poems on my notepad in my phone and in different journals tossed about my apartment. I make up poems at work to pass the time, I think of these lines randomly at coffee shops or even while walking down the street! I adore reading my old friends' poetry that he writes all the time- whether it makes sense to me or not. And writing poetry isn't that hard if you just immerse yourself in it.
 I honestly think everyone should try and write a poem for theirselves. Not as in about theirselves, unless you want to then go for it, but I mean for something that isn't a school project. Most of my poems I actually write down are when it's late at night or I'm just feeling a bit emotional. Some are personal while others aren't.
 Now you may wonder why I'm writing this little blog post about poetry, and it's because I use it as a little outlet for myself. I find it to be a great way of putting my messy thoughts or feelings into words. I use it when I'm stressed or sad and just need to get things out. My mother has told me to write my feelings down to get them out, that I don't have to speak them but I shouldn't hold on to them. Sometimes you don't get closure from someone, so you're angry at them and filled with that. So instead of always holding on to that anger, write out how mad you are at them for hurting you. Or you are sad about something but don't know exactly how to express it, try using poetry.
 It honestly doesn't have to rhyme, there are many poems I have read and wrote that don't rhyme at all. They don't even really have to flow well. Mine probably don't to be honest. But it's always nice to get somethings out instead of just having them stir inside you.

Stay soft, it looks beautiful on you

We met years go and probably again in another life time. We were probably star crossed lovers then and just two people meant to say hello today. In our past life we probably loved each other like we should have. In our past life we probably lived together like we should have. In our past life we probably danced with each other at 4 in the morning in the refrigerator light. In our past life I probably sat over you and took your photo while laying on the beach. In our past life we probably finally got it right. But this time, this lifetime, we just talked for a very long time. And like star crossed lovers do, we failed again this time. See you in another lifetime love, maybe we'll work again then.
(About a guy I had a thing with for 6 months years ago)

I have this paralyzingly fear that time is escaping me. That if I'm not doing something incredible with my day, I'm wasting my youth. I get this sinking feeling in my chest that I don't know how to describe other than pure horrific anxiety. I can physically feel the minutes passing by me while I waste my own life away. 

Sand dunes and cool dudes sit by the ocean
Listening to the sound of its motion
But all I can think about is you babe
Sitting in your shades of blue babe
Ocean, sky, surf boards, board shorts
In hues of blue on pale white sand
As your songs whip through the wind
Like palm trees in motion
I took it all for granted babe
Your voice sounds like the ocean
I took the waters for granted babe
And now you surf the other ocean

We met at the wrong time
On accident
In one night
Like getting on the wrong train
And missing your stop
Because you were distracted by your phone
So you missed out on where you were supposed to go
Your path was meant to go one way
But it took you another
All because of an accident
That you made
(About this guy I met once with a strong connection)

I smoked a cigarette to defy you.
I drank some booze to talk shit about you. 
I flirted with other men to replace you. 
I did the things I knew would destroy you if you caught me, hoping that you'd see me.
Hoping you'd call me out, just so you'd talk to me. 
I destroyed myself so you couldn't have the satisfaction of destroying me with your absence. 
I destroyed myself and stripped myself down to my bones. 
With my aching heart and tired soul, I destroyed myself with things you did not like. 
I rebelled against you and felt a twisted sense of freedom. 

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