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Plans for my Twenties

June 14, 2017

At fifteen you had the radiance of early morning, 
at twenty you will begin to have the melancholy brilliance of the moon.
-F.Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise (1920)
 In your twenties you have so many new things to figure out about yourself and the world. I've heard people call these years your selfish years because of that reason. I've also heard a lot of people in the elder generation sort of make snide remarks and roll their eyes at people in their twenties. In my twenties I would love to be made fun of for being selfish and having the older generation roll their eyes at me. Why? Because that means I'm doing it right. I'm taking these years for myself. I'm going to college to get a degree in something I want to study. I'm spending my time how I want to spend it. I'm making friends with people I want to be friends with. I'm being myself because that's who I want to be. I'm eating healthier or staying out late or spending my money how I please because it's what I  want to do.
 I am going to be doing things extraordinarily differently than I have during this decade of twenties than I have in the past two decades I've been alive. I am not going to be so hard on myself for the decisions I make that's for sure. As I've gotten older I have found I would rather regret something I did than regret not doing something. I would rather live my life slightly annoyed by the thing I regret doing than totally and utterly annoyed by missing out on something.
 I also would like to say that while I'm twenty I want to grow significantly. I have always prided myself on being like my mother. If you don't know, we are very much like Lorelei and Rory Gilmore. My grandmother is even similar to Emily and my grandfather honestly reminds me of Richard so much it's scary. But back to my mom Lorelei.
 I am very proud of my mom and she knows that, or at least she knows that now. Recently we were talking and I told her how proud I am to be like her, it truly makes me extremely happy. I called her the other day and we spoke about dating, life, figuring out things, etc. etc. I told her how I pride myself in following her footsteps. How I am so happy to be living in Clifton literally feet away from where she lived. How I get to figure out my twenties in the same place she did, possibly sitting in the same restaurant she did thinking about the same things. How I got to graduate from Sycamore and join the alumni like her. How we both spent the same days of sophomore year trying to figure out life in the same halls just years apart. Even her high school/college friend's mom say me recently and said I look just like my mom when she was in college. I told her that I think of her as my best friend, just like Rory thought of Lorelei. I tell her everything I do in my life because I respect her and love her. I truly want to hear her opinion on the things I do in life and if she thinks I'm heading in the right direction. My mother is an incredibly strong, amazingly talented, super gorgeous, loving mother. And I want to follow her footsteps that she left here in Clifton in her twenties while still finding myself along the way. Those are my plans for my twenties. Follow my mom- go where she went, where she lived, where she found herself. Because in the end if I spend my twenties like my mom spent hers and I end up being even a little bit like my mother in the end- I'd be very happy with myself.

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