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Fairytale

July 28, 2017


 I understand that life isn't a fairytale- it's not a movie or book either. I get that, I know that, I read these books and watch these movies to escape from reality because reality isn't like those things I indulge in. I get life isn't a Nicholas Sparks novel but why can't you have moments like those written in those novels or played out on the big screens.

Should've kissed you there. I should've held your face. I should've watched those eyes instead of run in place. I should've called you out. I should've said your name. I should've turned around. I should've looked again.

 I've had one or two moments where they were similar to a romance movie that I hold dear to my heart. When I was sitting on the brink of the pond while Jess and his friends were swimming in it he turned into Noah himself from The Notebook. Hooting and hollering at me to get in the water, just get in. Only to lower his voice and say "sorry baby, would you please get in the water?" Little old me didn't grab some rope swing and jump in but I stripped down to my undergarments like the rest of the crazy kids swimming in that pond and pushed myself off the ledge. We've even laid in the road looking up at the sky talking about what would happen if a car came by.

Should've held my ground. I could've been redeemed for every second chance that changed its mind on me. I should've spoken up. I should've proudly claimed that oh my head's to blame for all my heart's mistakes 

 So why can't there be moments like in the movies and the books you read or even the songs you hear? Why can't you have your boyfriend chase after you when you storm out upset and angry like the Taylor Swift song Mine? Why can't the guy you're pining over just spin you around and kiss you mid-sentence like in Penelope? Kiss you in the rain like in Breakfast at Tiffany's. Show up to my home with flowers like I've seen in about a million romance movies. Push my hair behind my ear and look at me longingly. Trace your finger down the nape of my neck and shoulder and arm while I'm laying silently beside you. Hold my face in your hands and kiss me, kiss my forehead, kiss my nose. Pick me up and wrap your arms around me like you haven't seen me in years. Spend the day with me, all day in bed just laughing at talking, wasting the day away. Ignore me when I say I need space, come show me that space isn't the right thing for my anxious-overthinking brain. If you simply listen to my favorite song, The Mess I Made by Parachute, it says so much.


 I don't know, I'm a sucker for the cliche romance that you see in these movies, that you read in these novels, that you hear in these songs. And I think it's because they can happen, they aren't just this mind blowingly impossible things that you never hear of anyone doing. I think I want these things so badly because they're these romantic gestures that people don't do anymore- but that still mean a lot.

I 'm staring at the mess I made as you turn, you take your heart and walk away

 You don't need to buy me a guitar to make up and say you're sorry like in 10 Things I Hate About You. You don't need to wander around Vienna with me like in Before Sunrise. You don't need to take notes from Me Before You and copy every romantic thing that was done. Dear lord please don't do that because that movie was so sad. But effort, make effort. Pull a card from these things and make a romantic gesture, whether it's one you've seen or you think of yourself. I'm old fashion, sweep me off my feet, show me you still want me, do something crazy and out there. It doesn't have to be a fancy dinner at some stupid Italian restaurant or a nights stay in a New York City five star hotel, I like the littler but more meaningful things. And in the generation that is more relaxed with somethings I suppose it's different for us, I mean it isn't the 90's anymore. I suppose it's also because I crave the most intimate and innocent of things that some people just want for a one night stand.


 I am a complicated girl who will tremble at the knees for some cliche bullshit that other people scoff at. I'm an absolute sucker for it all. And I believe that these innocent romantic gestures mean so much to me because they are simply that. Innocent romantic gestures that come from the heart. Whether it be from the ones who wrote or scripted these things, or the ones who are replaying them for their own partner.

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