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Old Friends

by - July 12, 2017

 Do you ever hear of an old friend in passing and think about what they're doing with their life today? It's happened a few times recently to me and it's made me think about my past a lot. 
 I have this old "ex" friend of mine who knows one of Jess's roommates. I have to be careful with the name I choose because considering Jess has like thirteen roommates (really like seven) I could accidentally pick one of their names. We'll go with Finn because he reminds me of a character in a novel I once read. 
 But anyways, Finn knew this old friend of mine so when I hung out with him recently she was brought up. He said that his idea of me was starkly different from what he was seeing first hand. Word of mouth of who I was from Jess was different than what my ex friend said- and he apparently was seeing only the kind of person Jess said I was. 
 That made me think of what other things my ex friend was saying about- someone I still care deeply for and wish the best for considering we were best friends for five, almost six years. We ended on bad terms because of things she did to me, and looking back on our friendship she was exactly good for my mental health- but I still hope she figures herself out one day. Even after we ended on bad terms I still went out of my way to make sure she was safe one night- only to be officially cut off after (which was perfectly fine with me anyways). 
 My mind wonders on the conversation Finn and I had. My ex friends' version of me was that I was certifiably crazy. Throw me in the loony bin and lock away the key. But if anything, I was the only sane person the other night not doing front flips into a pond where you couldn't tell what was on the bottom. Which, by the way, Finn got a pretty great score on his front flips for not be able to do flips at all. But truly, it causes me to think of why she's out and about spreading mean words to someone who did only the best for her. I can't begin to imagine why, nor do I really care to, but it still makes me a little bit curious. After all, she's the one that ruined the friendship. So shouldn't I be the one calling her "psychopathically crazy" and not the other way around?
 Even Finn asked me when I said I still love her and wish the best for her- he asked me "do you, do you really?" And of course I do. For the occasional second I think about her every once in a blue moon I wonder if she's doing well. If her toxic nature has subsided and she's being the best she can be. Or if she's happy, because truly the poor girl deserves to be happy. Finn seemed a little shocked by my answer- and afterwards even said him and her are still sort of friends, so if I ever run into this old ex friend of mine, I hope I see that she's doing well. 

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