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Drive, Drive Fast and Far

August 02, 2017


 Do you ever have those days where you just want to drive past your exit and just keep going till you run out of gas? I've been having a lot of those moments fall into my days recently. Where I'm heading home from my mom's and instead of heading south, I want to just keep heading west till my gas tank empties. Or driving to my boyfriend's house, I want to just keep going straight down the road till I hit a dead end.
 One night I mindlessly followed the same route to Jess' house even though he was out of town, once I realized what I had done I just kept going. I drove through neighborhoods and down side streets till I ended up at Spring Grove Cemetery. I sat by the headstones in my car with the windows down listening to the birds chirp and a Shawn Mendes song play quietly over my car radio.
 I think I sat there, with my car in park and my feet over on the other seat, listening to everything for a good half hour. I thought about things, and what the words of the song said. It was Hold On, a song from his newer album. I just sat there and let the sun hit my back as I leaned against my car door and let the moment consume me.
 If you know me you'd know I overthink a lot, I have bad days often, and I'm the type of girl to be lost in an old 90's movie. Of course, I know life isn't a movie- this is reality that I'm living and surviving in. I let my overthinking wash over me in the car and stored that moment away for later. But now I'm having those moments more and more, where I just want to leave. And it's not because I'm not happy where I am or with how my life is going. My boss and I were talking today about how much my life has improved just this year so far, and in the year since I started working for him. But yet here I am, sitting in bed, just wanting to get into my car and drive as far south as I can go before I get tired.
 I guess I'm waiting impatiently waiting for my summer vacation to come about so I can be stress-free. I don't know, but these thoughts of getting up and leaving are consuming me. I wish I could be one of those people who could just get up and drive as fast and as far as I can.

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