I'm Not Asking For Forever

 When I say yes to dating you and being your girlfriend, because believe me- I'll never have the guts to ask you- I'm not asking for a forever with you. Maybe, once upon a time, I would've been that girl that day dreamed about forever with you. But after my first heart break I realized that it's sort of a rare thing. I realized that the outcome of ending like my parents is more likely than ending up like my grandparents. So when I say yes to dating you, I am not expecting a forever kind of thing. I especially gave up that expectation for now after this second relationship that ended just shy of three months yet again (like literally, it was one damn day before three months). I realized people lie to your face, hurt you, and leave so easily.
 But what I am saying yes to is a great time of fun adventures with the two of us. I can promise you that while we are together, I will give you everything I have to offer. I will not sit here and tell you to pick me, choose me, love me- but I will tell you that I am here, and that I am all in. Because when I do say yes to someone, which I am very picky about, I will give my all because I believe in something with us. I know I'll only have you for a short time, whether it be a season or a year.
 I will give you the affection you need, especially on your saddest of days. I will make you tea, rub your back, turn on Grey's Anatomy or play music to help you through whatever is making you sad. I will hold your hand when the world feels like it's becoming too heavy and you feel all alone. I will be the softness that you've craved to know. I will never ask you to stray from your independence that you rightfully deserve, as long as you hand me back the loyalty and respect I so rightfully deserve. I'll need you to be there for me too. To hold my hand when I lose sight and everything gets a little too much. To remind me to take a deep breath when I feel like I can hardly breath at all. To play John Mayer when I need a chance to let go of all my woes. But I promise you that you won't be this person that I cling to and have us both drown. We'll be this metaphorically cliche lifeboat that helps each other through tough waters with support, adoration, and encouragement.
 And during our short time together, don't make promises to me you won't ever be able to keep like 'forever'. I've spent time wasted on people who promised me to not be like the bad men before who promised me something they couldn't give. Men that changed with the seasons, very literally, because they got scared of what they promised or because they knew they couldn't or wouldn't want to keep it.
 People shouldn't promise forever, you have no control over the change and the things that are in our future. I already know that you will leave eventually and our paths will separate into two roads like a Robert Frost poem. Our days are numbered kid, so while we can- let's grow and have fun together. Let's learn each other's laughs and engrave an image of our smiles into each others minds. Let's do really fun and crazy things while we are the youngest we will ever be. I want crazy, I don't want good or good enough- I want something that is crazy, great, wonderful, insanely magical and more during the short time we have together. Hell give me something that the girl who I was back in 2011 was dreaming about while screaming I Want Crazy in the passenger seat of my moms car driving her crazy. Because for the short time we have, I want to treasure all of it.

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