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Getaway Car

November 15, 2017

  I had a man who I had a fling with- and this summer he was my driver of my getaway car and talked me into leaving... I needed a reason.


We've all heard Taylor Swift's new album by now, but specifically I want to talk about Getaway Car. Who her getaway car driver was for her is obvious, sorry Tom, but I guess here I am saying who mine is. I never thought I'd actually speak of this man- I mean honestly I don't know much about him except for the fact that I think I'll forever leave him on my little island as the man I called Sky. His name was Skylar, his last name- well I have no idea. I couldn't tell you how old he is, expect for that he's older (just barely), I couldn't tell you where he went to college though I had an idea, I couldn't tell you his mother's name or his favorite color or the station of the radio he turned on when he got in the car. The amount of time I've spent with him in my entire life is just under four weeks.
 He was this lifeguard I met while in Hilton Head- we met last year, and I've never spoken of this- of him- to anyone really. Not my parents, though my dad was there but never knew due to alcohol blinding his vision, not my friends, not anyone. Except for my ex, I warned him that when I went back down there this past summer that I may run into someone I had something with. He told me of his past people when we had first started dating, but I had no one to tell him of besides Dean. I had, I guess, pushed Sky out of my mind- until my trip. I told him of this lifeguard 'I kissed a few times last summer.' I wasn't sure if I'd run into Sky but I felt like I needed to tell him. Especially considering Sky is the closest I've ever come to loving someone.
 Things were already rocky between Karev and I from the second I stepped foot on the sand. So when day two came around and things were at their worst and I found Sky again I let myself sink back into familiar waters. I found myself back on the beach in the arms of my favorite lifeguard while my dad had a bottle in his hand back at the condo. I wore Sky's cliche shark tooth necklace around my neck, his old lifeguard sweatshirt tied around my waist, and my toes in the sand at night outside his house on the beach. We caught up, but still kept our promise of not divulging too much into who we were back home. No last names, no schools, nothing that would give away who we were. We fell right back into things like I had never left the island.
 I felt happy, at peace, giddy, ecstatic to be back with people I adored sitting at a little bonfire that wasn't supposed to be happening on this island. I told my dad was I taking a four hour walk when really I'd jog down the beach for a bit, hit my mile goal, then head over to where I promised to meet Sky. This happened almost every night, and we'd be with each other almost every day- just like last year. We would spend all day together- even when he was at work sitting up high in his lifeguard chair with me propped on a towel beneath him. I'd lay with my book over my face and he'd throw grapes down at me, causing the seagulls to swoop by. We'd take long walks down towards the private mansions, we'd listen to music and share earbuds or we'd talk about our future and what we expected of next year. He would run into the water and bait me to come in, when I wouldn't he'd run back ashore and throw me over his shoulder then drag me in kicking and screaming. We fell back to where we were last year- constantly "wasting" time together where it seemed like the days dragged on forever, thankfully.
 I never cheated though. Not once did I give into the screaming feeling inside of me that said "kiss him, you'd be happier with him". But everyone could see we stilled had these feelings for each other that were as strong as last year. Especially when I asked his friend Madison if this was just some thing he did with girls during the summer, though last year we never went physically far. And she said no- that this wasn't like Sky, and that at the beginning of the summer you could tell this year was different for him. Like he was too impatient for it to end and couldn't wait for off season to begin. I hadn't met Madison last year, she didn't come along to lifeguard, she instead went to Europe to backpack across it like us Americans do. But I suppose drunkenly Sky had told her about me one night soon before I came back. She said his face got all red, not just from the booze, and that she understood then he was waiting for me to come back. And Sky waiting for a girl is something that he's never done before. "I swear it was like some prequel out of a sappy Nicholas Sparks movie." she said and I giggled at the thought of that sight. Before I could ask her anymore, Sky came back to the spot behind me at the bonfire and handed me a bottle of lemonade. He wrapped his arms around me, a cold beer in one hand, and rested his chin on my shoulder. I called him a dweeb and sipped my lemonade- that being the only words spoken from either of us for a while that night. I realized later into the trip that if I could have such strong feelings for this man, then did I have any left for the man who I would go back home to?

 Karev had yelled at me over the phone on the second night, saying to tell the Sky and the boys about our fight we were having- to go run off and tell them. I didn't that night, Karev hadn't come up in conversation with Sky until he went in to kiss me after he walked me home. We had just gotten back from walking along the sea late one night, the hotel bar music was still stuck in our heads though it had long gone quiet. My sand filled, curly beach hair had gotten stuck in the necklace as I pulled it to show Sky I still had it- it was night three of my vacation. We were stopped at marker 56. You could see the bigger boats waiting to dock in Savannah far out with their bright lights.
 I told him about Karev, and how I couldn't kiss him. He understood, kissed my forehead and wished me goodnight. My forehead burned that night, and every night after that I wished he has kissed me on the lips instead. I came running and crying to Sky one night later into the vacation and told him everything- all the wrong Karev had did and how I didn't have feelings for him and how I didn't think I had for a long time. Sky asked me why I'd stay in such a bad relationship like that, why would I stay with a man like that, especially when he wasn't even that cute? I told him the truth, finally admitting it to myself as well... at the end of the night I had made up my mind to end things when I got home.
 Still, I never cheated. Even after I knew I would end things I never kissed Sky. I never did anything other than maybe love him from "afar". If I see him again this upcoming summer- whether I'm with someone or not- I don't think I will kiss him then either. I think Sky was my getaway car driver. Yes, maybe last summer we had something amazing and no one there on either sides to get in our way, but this summer I think I realized something. Though I may have loved him, or maybe I do love him and I just don't know what love feels like yet, we will never work. I know nothing about him. I don't know his last name, I don't know what sports he played in high school, I don't know what college he graduated from, I don't know his dogs name back home. We've always met when I needed an escape from my life- my real life. Not my fantastic island life where I can be free of any responsibility. We always seem to fall around each other where we need each other most, and leave being better off for knowing each other for those two weeks. We would never have a real shot with each other out in the real world. We are meant for two weeks of pure bliss on a little island that costs you a dollar twenty-five to get on.
 So I left him on that island with something that was special to me and kissed him on the forehead at about 2am far away from marker 56 where I had wished he had kissed me.

 I left him in a motel bar...
       That was the last time he ever saw me....

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