Alexis Ren

 My Girl Crush on Alexis Ren:

 If you have an Instagram, or even internet access, you probably know of Alexis Ren. She most recently shot for Sports Illustrated, she has 11 million Instagram followers, she loves watching documentaries, and opened up about her eating disorder a while ago. She has created her own line of clothing aimed towards athleisure and working out, which actually has a subscription box I am signed up for. She is teaching herself how to skateboard, she is traveling all over the place, she is a pro at taking perfect photos with awesome angles.
 So many guys I know personally fawn over her because of her gorgeous looks- which yes she is totally stunning but her ideas on life itself is what has drawn me to be a follower of hers. Her motivation for health and fitness, now in a totally good mental standing point, also has drawn me to adore her and want to be more like her. We're the same age, her only a few months older than me- and I love how her life is. She's an overall wonderful human being. Her mindset of flip-floppy people is the same as mine: a total pet peeve. And her fear of staying the same is similar to my fear of being who I am now later. I want to grow, I want to change, I want to be the best I can be.
 So I've decided to try and act like her, be more like her. Not in the 'I will copy everything she does' kind of way but I'll follow her lead of being 'passionately curious'. After a late all night chat with my friend who I talk about way too much in my blog (his conversations are highly intelligent and intoxicating, I find them extremely mindful and important so I'm bound to bring him up again) I asked him if there are people out there who just don't have motivation to do anything. Not that they are lazy but that they just don't have that motivation characteristic others have. He said yes, and that's when I realized maybe that's me. I don't have a strong motivation to do something I'm wildly passionate about. My mind is more thinking 'wow this is really fun/interesting and I want to do it' rather than the motivational need to do something. A few days later I found an interview of Alexis's and she said the line about being 'passionately curious'.
 While being passionately curious it means you are being curious about things, dipping your toes in the water or diving in head first. You can be curious about a million things and passionately want to dive into learning more or just trying these things. That struck me because I realized that's what I am. I'm not unmotivated, I'm just not 100% extremely motivated to do one thing. I'm like 30% motivated to take my Instagram to the next level, 30% passionately curious about planning road trips all during this summer, 30% motivated to go to college for psychology and aim for a PhD, 10% passionately curious about other things that float into my life during different moments. Those percentages are where my mind it at right now- but ask me tomorrow and maybe the road trips have gone up to 40% and the idea of college slips my mind and that 30% is split between 15% fitness motivation and 15% passionately curious about a new list of self help books I want to read. My brain is always all over the place with a million things I want to learn more about like the other jobs located at the warehouse I work on weekends, how to make a blue matcha coffee like JJ (the nickname I'm now giving my friend off of the initials of my nickname for him) posted on his snapchat, the psychology behind why my anxiety is worse during winter than summer, the big green house plants I can get, where my next apartment might be, the background of stories I hear on My Favorite Murder, trying to pinpoint all the cool coffee shops I see locally on Instagram.
 So maybe you feel unmotivated to do things and you can't pinpoint why, even though you are immensely curious to explore all these different things. Maybe you're just like me- slightly motivated, but passionately curious. You are motivated just enough to go explore these things and if they continue to motivate you just enough to keep learning and doing it- then great! But if you explore that new astronomy documentary and learn about constellations for a few weeks but then realize maybe this really isn't your thing, then that's fine too.
 That's what I took from the phrase 'passionately curious' and maybe I'm totally thinking of it the wrong way. But isn't everything phrase, line of poetry, and meaning of a story up to the reader to take in their own way?
 Either way, my girl crush on Alexis Ren is because of that mindset of hers, she seems like the kind of friend you have those intoxicating and eye opening, mind slightly changing, conversations that you look at the clock and realize you've been talking for 6 hours instead of 2. I need more people like that in my life, so Alexis if you're ever in Cincinnati we can go chill on the top of Carew Tower and chit chat about the way our society see's social media as both pros and cons, how different our world is from the European world in travel aspects, or space- because space is freaking amazing. 

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