Hello 2018 And All That Comes

  This year I'm going to be twenty-one and I'm terrified while excited. I'll finally be a college student working towards a degree while also assuming a mass amount of debt will be coming my way. I'll be starting more projects revolving around the internet and particularly social media. I will be moving to a new apartment by the end of the year (hopefully- though I love my place now I realize I need space to grow). I will be taking on more jobs and working more. I will be finding myself by going to extreme lengths. I'm in my twenties, and it's time to start taking on my life.

 In my own words I can describe to you how I have no idea who I am and the tangled mess it's caused. I feel things on an extreme emphatic volume that I can literally go one day with wanting to be that badass chick you see rocking a leather jacket with black skinnies, smoking a cigarette outside a party and laughing as her red lipstick imprints the cigarette. My nails are long and a shiny black, my makeup is bold, my lashes are long, and my hair is perfect. I've got on combat boots, my AC/DC shirt is half tucked into my shirt, and Dean Winchester would maybe come chat me up from across the way. But then the next day I'm cozied up at home nursing my social hangover sitting on the edge of my couch watching Gilmore Girls in an oversize sweater. I have that childish wonder while still being a woman that drives the men insane. I'm holding a cup of coffee, it's 2 in the afternoon, my cat is at my feet, I'm surrounded by greenery and the book I was reading is on the floor in front of me. I'm bathing in the sunlight from my large patio window hoping a cute tall (emphasis on tall please) Dean Forrester like boy will walk past and fawn over me from afar like Dean did to Rory without me even having to leave my apartment. Let the season change from Fall to Spring and I'm wearing floral short dresses walking around campus with a book or journal and sitting in Sigma Sigma Commons under the shade of trees. I'm listening to old Taylor Swift songs, occasionally looking back up at reality from one of my thousands of 'love books' to people watch. I'm feminine, I'm delicate, I act like the little lady my grandmother would be proud of and that badass 'biker chick' I am in Fall would despise (perhaps). When Summer rolls around I'm my mother's hippie child- cropped tops and flowing pants with elephants printed on them galore. Sit me on the beach and leave me be- I shall dissolve into the sea or sink into the sand. I am an island child now and no one can tell me otherwise, my mind is at the sea and not here in the city.
 With all of this said, I want to explore more of what makes me who I am as well as all of these personas that I shift to from time to time. I know I've said this before in my other blog post but I really wanted to write it out better and repeat it. I want to take 2018 and find out which parts of these, or even maybe which 'character' I occasionally 'play' is the one I really am, whether it be all or none. I'm in my twenties, it's time to explore my life and who I am on my own. So if that involves me playing a new person every week until I find one that screams me, then that's what I shall do.
 It's like when a woman finds her wedding dress- once you know, you just know. Maybe I truly am all of these things- the nerdy book worm, the badass biker chick, the innocent Rory Gilmore, the beach bum hippie, or whatever else I may fall into. I'm excited to try on these metaphorical new hats of mine and see where I fit in. Or maybe by mid year I'll realizing being all these different things is what makes me me. One second I can fit in with all the individuals of The Breakfast Club and the next second I can fit in with the sorority girls off of sorority row or the girls who mock them and all their pep.
 So here's to 2018 and finding myself, the most important thing I hope to accomplish this year- and to all the follows and all that comes.

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