Twenty

by - April 11, 2018

What I learned during my year of being twenty:

 Grown ups really aren't that grown. Most people still don't know what they want from life. People leave- they come and they go. A lot of people lie and break promises. I'm stronger alone. My generation and the one below us will bring change. Religion is just a fairytale. Most people have lived in a bubble until they live alone. There are always people better than you. Sometimes it's just genetics. Time is just a creation from man. Twenty now is different from twenty then. I am quiet but I am loud. I'm allowed to cry. My feelings are justified. No man can hurt me more than I can hurt myself. Overthinking can lead to death. Things aren't always okay. Life ends. The sun will rise again. The flowers will bloom in spring. A man can lay his hands on you but never dirty your skin. The unsaid is deafening. People romanticize the good and forget the bad. You don't have to forgive to move on. Sometimes you don't get closure and that's just that. You are alive, your heart is beating- so act like it. You can hate someone for what they have done, but still love them for who they were. Many people have been through many things. You can be more than one thing. The adults are sometimes wrong. Intimacy is intoxicating. People see you differently more often than you think. You have to lose yourself to find yourself sometimes. You don't need to find your passion at 18, you can find it at 40 or 50 or 20. How can you call something love when he hurt your so deeply? Heartbreak is an odd experience. You can in fact pick yourself back up from all the pieces. You can't please everyone. You can lose yourself if you sacrifice too much. Change is feared but it should be accepted. Living in the past can kill you. Sometimes your mind can play tricks on you. If someone is deciding to leave you, then they've been thinking about it for a while and there is no way and no reason to beg them to stay- you are better without them. Taking the long way home is good sometimes. Every kiss before the right kiss doesn't count anyways. Breathe.
There is still a lot to learn.

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