Mental Health Month

 So May is mental health month and what a fitting month for it because it's finally warm and sunny for a few days. My heart and head is clearer than before and I'm ready to tackle what lies ahead of me. But for some people that isn't always the case- sometimes the change of weather doesn't really help much. Sometimes you still feel blah, or depressed, or this dysphoric feeling that surrounds you. So that's why I talk about it- that's why I, as some consider, overshare when I'm feeling anxious or depressed or just really, really down. I talk about my self harm relapses, I talk about my panic attacks, I talk about my sexual assaults, I talk about the taboo things that some people don't discuss. All because there are people still out there that feel icky, me being one of them, due to their mental health and mental illnesses. Most of the time I'm discussing my mental health- it's because someone emailed me asking for help or advice. They feel alone and need to talk. So I talk to them, I share with them what I know, I tell them something about my past that is similar to their now situation. Then I write a blog post about it. About what I shared with the emailer because if I went through this, and another person is going through it now, then there is going to be more out there. Whether they already went through it and just want to know they weren't alone- or if they go through it in a year and find my blog one night while looking for help.
 I share for the ones who can't- I may not name my assaulters by first, last, and social security number but I discuss them. I call them out for their actions. I'll name them eventually- once I no longer fear of running into them on campus because a few of them still linger at the same parks or restaurants that I do. But I call them out and let other girls know they aren't alone.
 I discuss my self harm- whether it's the cutting or the meticulous calorie counting and having to go for a walk/jog for however long to cut half those calories. I talk about the relapse and I talk about how hard it is to stay clean with the eat or the cutting. And for those who emailed my mother about my recent relapse, I get it- she know's, but I can take care of this myself. When I cut, it's never to kill myself, it's for a sense of control. H and I have discussed my self harm at short length and I know doing it is pointless and, obviously, harmful but at the moment this is my bad form of self control. I'll find a healthier one in about a week or so, please don't worry.
 My panic attacks, my depressive ruts, my "staying inside when it's 80 degrees out" are all things I discuss too because they are things that need to be talked about. Everything revolving around mental health should be discussed. Nothing should be seen as taboo or too whatever to talk about. I feel like people need to desensitize themselves to mental health while still being sensitive towards discussing it. If that didn't make sense, here is my logic behind it. The media says kids are desensitized to gun violence because they play "shoot 'em up" video games. True, but not true. In the video games, movies, and tv shows you may see it more and see what happens with gun violence more- but when someone goes and shoots up a high school, Waffle House, church, college, Walmart, movie theatre, elementary school, concert, night club, office place, UPS warehouse, airport, mall, Planned Parenthood, etc. etc. we still get upset, we still cry, we still rally, we still protest. People still hurt. But we talk about it, we speak up about guns and why everything around guns need to be discussed and looked at further. So we should be like that with mental health. We should discuss it more, have it shown more in tv shows, movies, and whatever else with no negative stigmas behind it.
 This month I'll post more and more about mental health than anything else. I'll go deeper into my tips and tricks about coping with mental health and what I've been doing to further better myself.

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