Starting Over

 I've realized starting over doesn't have to be a bad thing, I'm moving apartments and am in a new relationship- in both of those aspects I enjoy starting over. A bigger apartment with lots of windows. A caring man with lots of opportunities. The ending of my last relationships were painful and sad, I believe the ending of this home of mine will be sad but fill me with nostalgia more than anything. I have so many ghosts in this apartment of past lovers and fights and long nights, I think it's a good thing to move on. Not that I won't cherish the fact that this is my first home of my own, my first real place that is just mine. It's where I learned to have a green thumb, where I've spent most of my days pondering over life, where I found more of who I was in.
 Endings are not always bad. Sometimes it's good- and starting over is a new way of surviving. A new chapter, or a whole new story. A new chance at something good or even better.
 Starting over gives me so many choices. Do I want a yellow couch or a green couch? Do I want to introduce my boyfriend to my friends before or after a month of dating? Do I want to keep in contact with olds friends, or leave them behind as I leave my place.
Starting over for any can open a world of options and choices and paths for them to take. You can forget the past and all that held you back. The toxic people who only brought you down. While taking with you the people who have supported you and the ones who love as well as care for you. It all means that you are essentially learning that life itself can be better elsewhere or with new things like new people. You aren't settling, your are learning. You're putting the pieces back together because you've seen it fall apart and know how to better it.
 I'm excited to start over in a new town, in a new apartment, with more people, in a new relationship, with a new job. It's scary of course, right now I'm in the storm of trying to figure everything out- making sure it all goes well. But I know in the end, come the end of July when I'm unpacking in my new place- everything will feel great. Everything will be great.

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